1.4

 

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Most nights I was awake for longer than I wanted to be. It was the big curse in my family. My dad has it, Nate has it, I have it. When I had the desire to, I used to draw or read. Now I usually put my earbuds in and listen to something on Youtube. Put the phone under my pillow so the light doesn’t bother me. I end up falling asleep eventually.

This was another night of me staring up at my ceiling in the dark with music in my ears. I wasn’t just staring at whatever though. The ring on my finger was weird to wear, especially to bed. I wasn’t used to jewelry on my hands. I’d went through a small phase in grade eight and those were way too small for me now.

But I was keeping it on. Because now I couldn’t sleep due to excitement. Or eagerness. Or I was at least looking forward to something, however I wanted to phrase it. The band was silver etched with black. Not runes or markings. It looked more like diagrams. It was topped with a gold stone. Not amber-y or pee-coloured like you’d think if someone said that to you. It wasn’t tacky. It looked pure. Like the actual metal made into a crystal.

“What now?” I said as the three of us had rested in the grass. I was tired. The heat was homing in on me like I’d had a shield over my body and it had been taken down. Like I’d lost some sort of resistance. Shannon and Ellie looked the same. Shannon seemed to be looking in disbelief at her shoes. Ellie was cradling her hand in her lap and looking at the ring in her palm. A red-orange stone for Shannon and a pale green one for Ellie. The bands were the same as mine.

“You three are going to feel worn out. Rest tonight. Eat well. Come back tomorrow, and we’ll see how you feel. If you’re doing good, the teaching will begin.”

“Learning magic?” I asked. A smile had made its way onto my face in the last few seconds without me noticing. I still smiled. But it was always for other people. For Ellie and Shannon if they said something funny and I didn’t want to be a dick. For workers at a store or a restaurant because again, not a dick. For teachers and classmates and blah blah. I hadn’t been surprised by a smile in a good, long while.

“Of a sort. Not the kind you would learn if taught by a mage. The deals and the rituals they use, you are unable to tap into.”

“Why?” Shannon asked. Lady seemed to pause at that. I got the sense if she could, she’d be chewing her lip in thought.

“I’m trying to phrase this well as to not scare you.” She stopped speaking for another few seconds. Shannon was starting to look like she was going to scream.

“You are disconnected from the source that lets mages use their abilities and reconnected to whatever sent me. Your toolbox is more limited than a mage, but what you do have is much more potent. And you do not have to worry about running a power source dry as they do.”

“What does that mean for us?” Shannon asked. Ellie was looking up now. Shannon’s tone was worrying her. It was the one she used when we were in a lot more trouble than anyone but her had realized.

“The only change is one of power levels. You will still be able to feel every emotion known to man, to require sustenance and rest to continue living, and to procreate if any of you three so desire.” Ellie looked down a bit at that. Not in a sad way. Just like a switch had flipped in her head from very interested to not at all interested. She was staring at the ring again.

“Think of it like an evolution. Turning from a common housecat to a tiger or a panther.” Lady spoke. She was choosing her words carefully. I could tell by the speed she was speaking.

“Okay.” Shannon said. She sounded tired. Ellie looked tired. Her head was dipping as she stared into her lap. I felt tired. I wasn’t entirely sure I could get up and walk home anymore.

“I need a snack bar. And water.” I pointed at Ellie. She perked up at that. Very quickly took one arm out of its strap and swung the bag into her lap. Tossed me a bar which I caught after a couple fumbles. She rolled the very heavy metal bottle over to me, which I was glad for. She did the same for Shannon.

“I’m too tired to go through the fine print of what you’re saying right now. But I am going to make a list in my head, and we are going to go through it. I want to know everything I can about what just happened.” Shannon said after a long gulp of water. She wiped her mouth and opened a bar.

“That’s acceptable. I don’t know if I can say I’m looking forward to that, but I’m glad you think that way.” Lady said. Shannon nodded at that.

E: How are you guys feeling

S: I matched my dad’s amount of food eaten at dinner tonight. My mom looked concerned. I think she thought I was high

I had half-fallen asleep. Into that weird state of consciousness that wasn’t too restful but made time pass way faster. The light from the notifications woke me up. It had been about an hour.

P: My dad asked what I’d been up to. I said nothing. He told me he wishes I could put that much energy into school or chores or whatever

I kind of regretted sending that. I was tired and worn out and it had really pissed me off. But I had just shrugged and nodded my head vaguely at it. He won. Like always. I’d had something cool and nice happen and then something he said blew that away. Typical. But I had still wanted to keep it to myself. Like ninety percent of those interactions. I just didn’t care anymore most of the time so what was the point in sharing.

S: Wow nice

Ass

You can come over to my place if you need to

P: It’s fine

It wasn’t that type of interaction

No screaming

It’s whatever

E: We should stay over at someone’s place next weekend

We haven’t done it in a while

Feels like ages

S: Yeah I’m in

Unless your mom wants to let us borrow the living room we can use mine

P: I’m down

For either

E: I’ll ask tomorrow. She probably won’t say no because she misses you guys, but I’ll update in the morning

I’m tired

Going to sleep now

S: Me too

Night

P: Night

Sleep tight

I’m sure I’ll be up for ten more hours

See you guys tomorrow

 

“My mum says the living room is ours when we want it. Just gotta let her know the day.” Ellie said as she came up to me. She was munching on the remains of a sandwich. Looked like peanut butter. Possible jam, possible banana, but I was currently unsure.

It was early. Not as early as yesterday. The heat was in the background but I could feel it beginning to grow. Give it a couple hours and have noon hit and I’d want to die again. I was under the impression that the colouring I’d gotten from my mom was supposed to help in some vague way with that, but maybe I was unlucky. Or that was a myth. Or something.

“Friday would be cool. Straight from school to the party zone.” Ellie nodded sarcastically at that as she chewed. That zone would consist of us sitting in pajamas and eating junk and watching videos and movies. And probably sitting in silence while we found funny things to show each other on our phones.

Shannon was another few minutes. In a sleeveless pale blue blouse tucked into cream-coloured shorts. She had brown desert boots on her feet. Actually ready for a trek through the wilderness today.

“Appropriate footwear. Wow.” I faked a shocked tone. Widened my eyes a bit as she came up to us.

“Shut the fuck up. My feet still hurt from yesterday, I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t put me into a worse mood by needling me.” I raised my hands in surrender. We all had bags on today. A couple bottles of water each, sunscreen, lunch and snacks. Shannon probably just dumped the contents of her purse in hers as well. Once again, I declined to bring my wallet.

“My mum is cool with the living room. We just have to decide on a day.” Ellie informed Shannon. We began to walk. It was really fucking hot. Tomorrow was supposed to pour apparently. Hopefully that would fix whatever this was.

“I said Friday.” I added.

“Friday sounds good.” Shannon responded. Ellie pulled out her phone and continued moving. Quickly sent off a text to her mom. She waited a few seconds and stared at the screen. She looked satisfied and typed something quick. Then pocketed it.

“All set.” She said. Me and Shannon nodded. With that done, we all focused on getting where we were going.

It took us around twenty minutes to get to the convenience store. We’d met up at an intersection that was mostly the same distance away from all our houses. Ellie stopped in and bought a Powerade to go into her bag. Me and Shannon waited the couple minutes until she came out. Then we continued.

Lady was in the branches of the tree again. Her tail was moving back and forth like an impatient paintbrush. She was in the shade, and I idly wondered if she felt the heat like we did. She had a lot of fur. Or maybe it was a whatever-she-was thing. A special perk. Unable to feel extreme temperatures. She hopped down to the ground when we broke into the clearing.  

“How are you three feeling?” She asked as she approached us.

“Felt like I only slept five or six hours even though I for sure didn’t, but I’m functioning.” Shannon said. She set her bag down against a tree trunk at the edge of the forest. In the shade as to not melt whatever food she had and keep the water cold-ish. Me and Ellie put ours next to it, encircling all but the back of the tree with backpacks.

“I actually only slept five or six hours. Normally used to it, but yeah, I feel shitty.” I said. Ellie looked at both of us and then Lady and shrugged.

“I’m good. You guys should come running with me or something.” I made a face at that. Shannon didn’t seem any happier at the suggestion than me.

“Wait, is that something we should do? Like the military? Getting fit to fight?” I asked as I sat in the shade. I didn’t quite know what Lady had in store for us today and I wanted to conserve energy where I could. I was worried it was in fact going to be running drills and pushups and pullups. Like gym class times a thousand.

“If you’re worried about your strength and endurance levels, those will be raised when you’ve transformed. You will be able to run farther and faster, and lift much more than you’re used to. Among other things.” She paused and, just as I was about to ask about the word transform, continued:

“But yes, any training you do will carry over to your transformations.”

“Transformations?” I asked. The word almost burst out of me. I’d been close to interrupting her about three times throughout the single word she’d said.

“This will begin the training, I guess. As good a place to start as any.” She said. Then she hopped up on a branch once again and lounged over the limb of the tree. Probably hot. Maybe.

“You are now connected to whatever powers you through me, but cannot access that power in your current forms. That would be why none of you accidentally destroyed your homes with an incorrect gesture last night. It’s a limiter of sorts. And it saves power. Like a light switch.”

“You said this power was infinite.” Lady went to speak but Shannon interrupted with, “or close to it.”

“It is. But it’s still better to save power when you can. And although it costs nothing of your personal power to use, acting as conduit to that much energy will tire you out, so test your limits responsibly.”

“How do we transform?” Ellie asked from beside me. She had sat down very close to me without me noticing. I’d been very into this conversation. She sounded eager. Or eager for. Was still quieter and more restrained than my outburst a minute ago.

“I agree. I want to hear this after we learn to channel magic.” I was tapping my toes inside my canvas sneakers. Restless. Not unusual for me. Shannon had almost slapped me throughout my life when I shook tables or made weird noises with floorboards when I bounced my leg.

Shannon looked like she wanted to slap both of us after that. She liked to read the fine print. But she stayed silent and then looked at Lady. I was getting amused vibes from lady at that.

“Give me a moment to draw something out.” She hopped down from the tree and began a similar process as yesterday. Tail dragging behind her on the grass. The lines were still a harsh blue. She began the same, with a large circle. Inside was where it differed. Another triangle of circles, but only the points, no connecting lines. Just the circles. Then a circle in the center, with lines radiating out to touch the trio of shapes around it.

“Come. Take the same places as yesterday.” I grumpily got up from the shade. She had drawn it directly in between the big tree and the edge of the forest. More room to maneuver, but also no cover from the sun. Bleh.

Me and Ellie rose. Fell behind Shannon as we walked over. She took the head of the shape again. Ellie and I split off around the circle. Lady sat in the middle.

“Take a seat. This won’t be complicated, but it may be tiring again. And we have a long day ahead of us. So get comfortable when you can.” I appreciated that sentiment. I sat cross-legged in the grass and felt some of the blades tickling my skin. Some of them also itched. Which felt the same as a bug crawling on me. Now I wasn’t sure which it was. I shifted a bit and made a face. Shannon did something similar and I could tell she was thinking the same thing. Ellie didn’t seem to care. Her very bare legs were stretched out casually and she was leaning on her hands behind her.

“This will be somewhat like meditation. The diagram is going to activate once you three begin to look inward. It will help you find what you need this first time, so you can recognize it for later.” Lady said. Ellie moved to mirror me and Shannon and crossed her legs and rested her hands in her lap. She closed her eyes. Shannon did as well. I looked around one last time and followed their lead.

“After this I can’t tell you much on what to do. You’re going to be looking for an energy of sorts inside you. Or a presence. It depends on who you are and how you live. It’s less static. But you’ll recognize it when you see it.”

I heard a noise. The diagram flaring up. I recognized it from yesterday. No heat or cold or any sort of feeling on the temperature spectrum. Just light, I guess. Then I felt it hit me and almost seemed to fall inward. I wanted to fight it at first. It was scary. And weird. Like the feeling you get when you’re starting to fall asleep, except very sudden. My body wanted to jerk itself awake. I didn’t let it.

It almost feel normal after that. Sitting and doing nothing in a weird twilight state of consciousness was my hobby. I’d gotten good at that sort of thing recently.

The progress kept up. It wasn’t visual. I was staring at the back of my eyelids. But at the same time, it was like when you were falling asleep and your mind began to wander. You saw things in the eye of your brain. I guess I was doing that. Usually it was imaginations for me. Little stories I came up with in my head. Now it was bits of memories.

Nate and me sitting in the basement with the small hand-me-down TV and couple old chairs watching whatever after school. Pretty far off from the living room and it’s big screen and big couch but it was our space. We got in trouble a lot down there. Either we ended up arguing about what to watch in the early days or we always left dishes down there. Which was gross thinking back on it.

And we’d get to hear our dad after work, same time as now, yelling at something on his laptop. Way too easily frustrated back then. We hid down there almost because we didn’t want to go up until our mom got home. His chair computer chair was thrown back onto the ground too many times to distinguish. Or he’d slam the table.

Then us with our mom in Toronto. After she’d left. I’d been in sixth or seventh grade. Nate had just entered high school. Or maybe was just about to. We’d both felt so grown up. But Toronto had been huge and we’d realized we weren’t. And I had hated it. But I also hated this town, so who knows where I belonged. Nate hadn’t though. First chance he’d gotten he’d been gone. Off to U of T and new friends and everything not Atwood. Our dad didn’t throw things or slam tables anymore at least. Now the shouts just scared me.

 Another couple years. Our mom gone. All of us weird and distant and not wanting to talk. Because that’s how everyone was. I’d talked with my mom about everything and Nate had talked to no one and dad didn’t have any emotions except yelling and slamming. And being disappointed now.

But some good things were there. Shannon and Ellie and me going to our first high school dance together. I had dressed up like I used to. Shannon had done my makeup. Ellie had worn jeans and a tucked dress shirt. My dad hid disapproved of a fourteen-year-old girl wearing that much makeup. And I think of my dress. But I hadn’t really gave a shit what guys thought of it. I had liked how it looked.

And Ellie coming out. Getting used to calling her Ellie. That had only taken a week or two. Letting her have some of my clothes that I didn’t use and she liked as a starter kit. We’d went out for her to get some more stuff. Shoes, accessories. Not that she wore many bracelets or necklaces. She did have a little woven, many-coloured bracelet that Blake had gotten for her on her first birthday post-transition. Her brother was a lot sometimes but he wasn’t an asshole.

There was also that one time all three of us had been cornered in the hallway after some fuckhead had said some choice words about Ellie. Not stuff we heard a lot, but it was still rural Ontario. Blake had broken his nose and his buddy had ran after that. I didn’t hate that her brother played sports as much anymore.

And now everything was just coming in a stream. Memories and memories and memories. Like falling asleep in fast-forward. The outside world wasn’t even a consideration anymore. I was just seeing small bits of shows I’d laughed at with Nate and hugging Shannon and Ellie and those times when I had paid attention in class and cared before. And my dad. Telling me I needed to get out of my room or that I should work out if I was going to eat like that or lecturing me on something in the morning and then coming home after work and finding something immediately wrong and having that be the first thing he said.

I felt it. Something electric. There was a depth to whatever I was doing now. I was beginning to settle. The movement or whatever it was had slowed down. So without thinking I reached out or thought about touching it.

Something flared within me. It brought me speeding up into real actual consciousness. Something was flaring around me as well. The circle I was sitting in was shifting it’s hue. The blue was turning to green and then when it settled on that, took all of the original colour out and settled on a pale gold.

I was standing now. I had gotten to my feet as a normal reaction to something happening. Ellie and Shannon were still seated with their eyes closed. Lady was staring at me. She blinked as the electric feeling overcame me again. Like tasting copper as a sensation.

My hands were the only thing in my field of vision. Sparks ran down them like they would on a motherboard or machinery. Not the sparks of a campfire or a fireplace that seemed warm and friendly. Cold energy. Destructive, but without the feeling and emotion that came with smo0ke and heat.

They began to build something on my forearms. Draping dark cloth that I didn’t recognize as what it was for a few seconds. It led up to a cinch near the elbow and a tight sleeve on my upper arm. When it hit the clothes I was wearing, they seemed to turn to glass and sand particles and dissipate. The dark fabric replaced them. I didn’t feel any pain or weird sensations. I just stood still as it happened. Partly in shock and partly because holy shit this was fucking magic and partly because I didn’t want to fuck it up.

It finished eventually. I seemed to settle, like I had been a few centimeters off the ground and was coming back to earth. It was mostly black. A one-piece outfit. The top had a white collar around the neck and a teardrop patch of lace with some intricate design built in that almost looked like a complex diagram on the chest. It flared out at the waist into a skirt. There was a layer of white ruffles underneath that. My legs wore some sort of thick leggings that I could feel attached to the top from underneath the skirt that came down and seamlessly ran into low-heeled pointed boots. All black, save for the collar and the ruffle and a bit of gold design at the cuffs and the skirts hem. In the middle of the collar was the gem that had been on my ring.

I stared at Lady. I had believed this before. I had seen her pocket dimension and the light and even how she looked and believed. But it was more now. I’d just found magic inside myself and used it.

“Holy shit.” I said. And Shannon always told me I was funny. Not my most well-spoken moment.

That was interrupted by the diagram flaring around Ellie. Blue to green like mine, but it stayed there. Paled a bit as it stopped. Then Ellie’s eyes opened and she slowly stood up as a wind engulfed her. Gentle, but blowing directly at her. The transformation started at her forearms like mine and began to blow clothes off like bits of leaves and plant. Underneath was a fitted off-white shirt, almost like pirate fashion or something a knight would wear under their armour in a movie. It billowed slightly in the breeze. Over it was some sort of short poncho kind of thing, brown and lined with fur. Her shirt was tucked in to high-waisted green pants, the colour of plant life in a forests shadow. Almost like weirdly-coloured riding pants. Those tucked in to brown calf-length boots. Her crystal was settled in the buckle fastening her belt, amidst a small circle of silver.

Before I could say anything or take a real look Shannon stood up even more suddenly than I think I did. She seemed startled and looked panicked. Me and Ellie both looked at her. She calmed a bit when she saw us. Her circle went from blue to purple to red and then added a touch of orange after the fact.

Sparks ran up her like they had me. Smoke was trailing and wisping among them. They were warm sparks, yellow and orange and even red. Metal appeared on her forearms instead of cloth. Bronze bracers. A band sat around both biceps. Her arms were left bare aside from that. The smoke and sparks ate her clothes like a small flame does to paper or dry leaves.

She was wearing a bronze breastplate with engravings of a slightly different diagram than mine. Underneath that was a sleeveless crimson shirt. That ran into a knee length skirt, opened very much at the front so I could see ninety percent of her legs. Underneath that tunic or robe or whatever was a black skirt that came to her mid-thigh. The whole thing ended in black boots and bronze shin guards. The circlet on her left arm had her stone.

Everything died down then. The diagram faded to that washed-out gray like last time. The circles around us did something similar. Gray-red and gray-green and gray-gold. The clearing seemed really silent now. And really peaceful.

“Wow.” Ellie said. She looked down at her outfit. Then her eyebrows came together. Some sort of concern. I almost asked her what was up and then stopped as I was finally, really looking at her.

Her face was different. Not a lot. She still looked like her. I’d recognize her on the street. But her cheeks were a bit rounder and her jaw was just a bit less wide.

“Yeah, I don’t think you had those before, Ellie.” Shannon said while pointing to her torso. I didn’t get what she was pointing at. Same general shape. Shoulder a bit wider than the hips, slim waist, slim everything honestly.

Then I got it. Oh. Oh.

“You have boobs!” I yelled. Very happily. The most excited I’d ever been about boobs. By a large amount.

“Holy fuck!” Shannon added. We both rushed out of the circles to get a better look. Shannon held her by the shoulders. Ellie was looking shocked.

“I’m, uh, different down there. As well.” She said. Oh. Okay. Maybe too much information. Still, holy shit.

Shannon hugged her. Very hard. Then stopped and pulled back to her original position, holding her by the shoulders and staring at her.

“How do you feel? We’re not taking this too far are we?” Ellie blinked at that. Paused and thought. Which wasn’t really worrying by itself. She liked to ponder.

“No, it’s- it’s good. I’m feeling good. It’s, uh, just a lot.” She said. And then smiled a bit and looked down a bit. Wiggled her fingers and looked at them. Shannon hugged her again.   

“Are you three feeling okay in general?” Lady asked. We all answered yes in different ways. Ellie was smothered a bit by Shannon’s shoulder.

“Why am I in a warrior-princess costume?” Shannon let Ellie go and turned around. Ellie was still smiling and inspecting herself. I saw her stomp her feet a little.

“Yours came with armour.” I said. Tugged on the ends of my sleeves a bit.

“The transformation pulls from your subconscious. Or your mind. Your desires, your pre-conceived notions, your experiences. And what you think looks good, a lot of the time. These forms have a lot of durability, don’t worry.”

“Is that what happened with Ellie?” I asked. She looked up at that. Paid more attention to the conversation. Still smiling just a tiny bit.

“You had a want that the transformation could grant. You’re lucky.” Lady said. Broadcasted that feeling of smiling to us again.

“Is there a downside?” Ellie asked. Lady shook her head. Her ears flopped around a bit.

“Not exactly. But this change will only take place inside the transformation, I’m sorry to say. You will look as you did before you transformed when you exit.” Ellie nodded a bit and frowned.

“I thought so.” She took a breath. Shannon hugged her from the side this time. I gave her a small smile. This one was genuine. I was happy for my friend.

“If you three are prepared, we will move on to what you can do with this magic in battle.” Lady said. I smiled even more at that. So fucking cool. Shannon and Ellie nodded. Separated and perked up a bit.

“Unlike the mages who must take what they can get from other creatures and twist that to their own use, you three have strength and speed to naturally pull from. Aside from that, you are limited. You have your weapons and your gift.”

“Expand on that please.” Shannon said. Lady nodded.

“Your weapons and gifts are both unique to you. Your weapon is currently sheathed. It resides in a pocket dimension much like mine when it’s not in use, although much, much smaller. Your gift is control over a certain element of creation. The classical elements, fire, water, air, and earth, as well as new breeds of control come about when humanity began to heavily populate this planet.” I was smiling again. Ah. So cool.

“Which one are we starting with?” Shannon asked. We were all standing side by side now. Shannon had her arms crossed and was looking determined and Ellie was her equivalent of beaming and I was still tapping my toes in my new boots.

‘Weapons are simpler, so we’ll begin with those.” Lady said.