1.2

 

Previous

Next

The air was still. Ellie and Shannon were silent. The little creature was quiet and staring at us patiently. Neither of my friends seemed inclined to speak to the thing. They had gotten nervous, clammed up. Ellie’s fists were balled up tight and she was biting her bottom lip. Shannon was very still. She was breathing slow and heavy.

“Hi.” I said. My voice wavered a bit. I wasn’t even scared. Just uncertain. About what to say, when to speak. That wasn’t a just-this-situation thing.

The creature seemed to smile at that even though her face didn’t move at all. Her whole aura seemed to get happier.

“I don’t know how much of a help this will be, but you don’t need to be scared.” She said. Both Ellie and Shannon remained nervous looking in their own way. Ellie was withdrawing like normally did in most situations. Shannon was usually different though. Me and Elie tended to hang back; Ellie was unsure of when or how to say things like me and a lot of the time I felt the same or just didn’t care. Shannon knew how people worked. She could talk to people like someone five years older than us.

“You’re going to have to prove that.” She said. Thankfully. I wasn’t scared or off-balance or anxious like the other two seemed to be. But there were two thoughts running through my head at the same time that were changing every few seconds and my mouth couldn’t connect properly to my brain because of it. Where were we? What was this thing? Why did she drag us here? How did she drag us here?

“Gladly. Tell me how I can make you feel more at ease and I’ll do it, within my power.” Shannon seemed to be taken aback by this. Don’t know if she really had a way in mind that it could be proved.

“What is that?” I said. “Your power.”

“That’s a broad question.” She responded.

“What is this?” I gestured around us, taking in the blue light and the still air and unmoving grass.

“Without getting too in the weeds with terminology, because I know you girls have places to be and we could be here for hours otherwise, it’s a pocket dimension. I own it, as far as anyone can own anything like that. It’s not very large; the borders don’t even reach the edge of the forest.”

“Please just hold on a minute.” Shannon said roughly. She was talking at me as much as the creature. She held a finger up in a shh gesture towards me. Her eyes didn’t leave the base of the big tree.

“Let us out of this place and I will be a lot calmer about talking to you.” She shot a level gaze at the creature. Her lips were pursed. When she lowered her hand that was still pointing to me as she finished her sentence, I saw a series of tiny shakes going through it. She swallowed hard.

“I assumed you had places to be. Time doesn’t move in here, so I thought it would be more convenient for you.”

“I don’t really care.” Shannon responded. The thing nodded slightly and then inclined her head. Wind touched my face in the next moment. It was gentle, but still shocking after the complete lack of movement.

Shannon took a deep breath and the warm forest air had an effect on her. Her eyes softened slightly and her lips were less tight.

“What’s your name?” Ellie asked softly. Me and Shannon both turned to look at her. She was still tense. Hands still in fists. But the question showed that there was still some calmness beneath that stuff.

“Lady.” She said. Ellie nodded at that.

“Hi.” She said, minutes after the initial greeting from Lady. Lady glowed with that feeling of a smile again. It was contagious. My interest was starting to overtake anything else.

“Why are we here?” I asked in the break that followed that.

“I sensed your girls presence here. It was old, but still there. It was one of the only places you seemed to frequent that wasn’t full of other people, so I thought it was appropriate.” A literal interpretation of the question. Not what I had meant, but it was nice to know.

“We just happened to wander out this way while you were out here?” Shannon asked. Her arms were crossed now.

“Luck played a part in it. I’ve been here for a week or so, I think. I was going to give it another day or two and then try something else.” Shannon crossed her arms a bit tighter at that. Not so nice to know.

“You wanted us? Specifically us?” I asked.

“Yes. Well, no. I didn’t. Someone did, and then I was sent here, and then I was told to find you. I think that’s how it usually goes.” Lady’s tail was moving back and forth in small motions now. It was rustling the grass as it went.

“I can’t listen to this game of fucking questions anymore, please tell me why you are here in this town and what you want from us that was so important you were sent here to find us.” Shannon interrupted the flow that was beginning to build between my questions and Lady’s answers. It shocked me out of my rhythm a bit. I turned to look at her. Giving her the ball, I guess.

“You three have some qualities that attracted something important. You’re going to want more details on that aspect but I can’t give them to you. I don’t even know who they are.” Before Shannon could speak, Lady continued:

“There are things none of you know about. After I tell you this, even if you don’t go forward with what I want, you’ll see beyond the veil. You’ll see creatures you thought were only in books. The Fae and spirits of the elements and ghosts of mortals since passed from this realm. You’ll notice the mages who use deals to barter with these creatures and gain power you three see in films and fantasies.”

Shannon was looking at her impassively. Stone faced. If this was anyone else, anywhere else, she’d be blowing them off and walking away with us to talk about how much of an idiot they were. Or how they were fucking with her and that they were stupid if they thought she was gonna fall for a joke like that.

Ellie was wide-eyed and blinking. Her hands were still fists hanging at her sides. She was grabbing a bit of her shorts between her knuckles and palm now. Ellie wasn’t dumb or gullible. But she was more willing to believe things and then be embarrassed if they turned out to be lies.

And I was feeling something. It wasn’t whatever peace came with my walks around town and my music in my ears and the time I spent under my covers in my bed. Excited. I was excited. It was something that wasn’t going to school and coming home to my dad and nothing else and then going to school and coming home to him again with something else to lecture me about that wasn’t whatever he had said the day before.

“There are people who fight all this. Despite the look beyond your small world they remain wholly human, unwilling to change. They use whatever they can to hunt and kill dangerous things for whatever reasons they have. To answer your question, that is what I want from you; to fight. But not like that. These hunters, they train from a young age, which you three have not. You would die, and I don’t want that.”

“What do you want?” I asked. Hadn’t even really meant to. I was staring at Lady intently. I felt my stomach tugging. I wanted this. Whatever this was. Something that wasn’t my life, as it was half an hour ago.

“I can’t tell you all there is in this world. The creatures that roam it are immeasurable. But I will leave that fight to the mages and the hunters who desire it. Because there are even more powerful things that lie in the spaces between the pieces of this world. They can’t be labelled like the vampires or the ghouls. They are old and ever-changing, and that is where their power lies. They cannot be fought with the guns and traps of the hunters or the small hordes of magic the mages build. I want you three to accept this simple deal: great power accompanied by the responsibility that goes with it.”

We all looked at Lady for a few moments. Ellie said nothing probably because she was thinking it over slowly. Shannon said nothing because I think she was just overloaded. And I said nothing because I didn’t want to speak on this without their input first.

“I need you to break this down and go into some more detail, because this is close to just shutting my brain down.” Shannon said. Lady didn’t respond for a couple seconds.

“What would you like me to explain?”

Now it was Shannon’s turn for silence. I could see the thoughts forming on her face, which was a rare sight for her. Ellie spoke before she could.

“What exactly are we fighting?”

“That is difficult to answer in specifics. Old things. Things that have been around since fire and light created this universe. If left unhindered, they will be around until fire and light consume it.”

“They’re-,” I struggled for a word that didn’t sound lame,” Powerful?” A dumb finish.

“Yes. That power varies. Sometimes they can draw others into their realm. Sometimes they send things out to cause chaos or bring others back. But inside the spaces they reside, they are all-powerful.”

“And you expect us to fight these things and win?” Shannon asked. She was still taken aback but beginning to catch up. That tone she had when someone was bullshitting her was starting to creep into her voice.

“Not as you are. Humans are like motes of dust to these things. Even the powerful mages of this world would be slaughtered like insects. The power they draw on is finite and requires rituals and limitations.”

“Yours doesn’t?” Ellie asked softly. Not as scared, anymore. Curious.

“I draw from whatever sent me, and you draw from me in turn. To your comprehension, this well is bottomless. It requires no bindings or symbols to access, and no words or incantations to use.”

“Okay.” Shannon said. Not an agreement. Just acknowledging the statement. She understood. She was caught up. She continued after a deep breath.

“You said it was a deal. We get this power, and we use it to fight, but what’s the upside for us? Power is nice, but I don’t want power for power’s sake. That’s not me.”

Lady seemed to think on this for a few seconds. She tilted her head back and forth and swished her tail.

“I do not have an answer that will satisfy you, I think. You three have been tapped because something was seen in you that could do good for this world. This is not something I will force on to you. It is yours to decide, just as any role of protector is.”

Shannon nodded at that. She pursed her lips and looked down. Thinking hard. Her arms were still tightly crossed.

“I think-“ Ellie began, stopping as we all turned to look at her. She took a small breath, “I think that I would say yes.”

Shannon blinked in surprise at that.

“Me too.” I said. Her head whipped around to me. Her eyes were wide now.

I wanted this feeling to continue. This little ball of something in my chest or my stomach. I was told I didn’t seem to care about school or getting a job or going to college and university and getting a career. I didn’t. I never looked that far. I couldn’t stand thinking of this same routine for the next five years and then something else for the next fifty or sixty or seventy years until I died.

“Stop. I’m not agreeing to this yet, we haven’t even talked about this, just us.” And that was what worried me. Shannon was very good at talking. I could see her talking me out of this. And me regretting it. And me hating my best friend for taking this away from me for the rest of my life.

“If we don’t say yes right now, will you leave?” Ellie asked Lady. Lady shook her head at this.

“Your friend isn’t wrong. This is a big change. Take a day to talk among yourselves. I will be here when you get back.”

Shannon seemed satisfied at this. For the first time in a few minutes, her arms hung at her sides.

“Tomorrow. At the same time. We’ll answer then.” I said, looking to Shannon and Ellie. Shannon looked down at her phone as she pulled it out. She nodded. Ellie did as well.

“I shall see you three then.” Lady said. We turned and breached the tree line. She sat under the sparse leaves of the old tree, fur blowing the wind.

No one spoke for a few minutes. We walked and crunched and snapped along until we hit the edge of Atwood. We emerged into small-town noises and hot sun and familiar buildings. Only then did Shannon speak.

“That doesn’t give me a good feeling.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had time to organize my thoughts yet because my brain feels like it was blown up, but I don’t like the permanent part of it. It doesn’t sound like we can go back once we do it.”

“Do you have a problem with it? With what we’d actually be doing?”

“Uh, fucking yes. She said these things live in the cracks in our world or something, that sounds so fucking scary, Pandora. That sounds like were things go to die.” Shannon’s arms were crossed again. But she didn’t hunch her shoulders or draw herself in when she did it. She was still standing tall, shoulder back, looking strong.

“But it sounds like we would be helping people.” Ellie said.

“You’re going to med school. I don’t think you’re against helping people.” I added.

“Jesus, guys, that’s not my fucking issue with this! What’s going to be the cost of that? When I become a doctor, I’m going to be giving up a lot of my time to care for people in need. That’s so far from risking my life and diving into some hell world that it’s funny.”

I didn’t have an answer to that. Ellie didn’t either it seemed. Both of us were silent after Shannon’s statement. She was too good at this. At the arguments and the debates and organizing her thoughts and thinking of rebuttals for points I hadn’t even made yet.

“I still want to do it.” Ellie said, lips pursed and eyebrows pulled together.

“Why?” Shannon asked.

“Because Lady said people were drawn into these places. Imagine what it’s like for them in there, without whatever power Lady is giving us. They can’t do anything, from the sound of it. But we could.”

Shannon uncrossed her arms and cupped her hands and put her face in them. I thought she was crying for a second. Odd for most situations, for her. But maybe not this one. She looked like she was on the edge. But then she started rubbing her face and I could see she was just exasperated.

“I don’t think I can have this argument right now, in the field behind the convenience store. My brain feels like it’s in pieces and I’m already fucking tired, and it’s only five.”

Ellie and I just waited for her to finish her thought.

“Can we sleep on this? Meet up for breakfast or lunch tomorrow and talk?” Shannon asked. Ellie nodded.

Oh. I hadn’t expected that. I thought I’d have another few hours with my friends. Or maybe even a sleepover. Could have avoided going home completely.

“Yeah.” I said neutrally. We all scuffed our feet for a few seconds and looked at one and other. Then we said bye and split off. Once the they were out of sight, I grabbed the tangle of wires from my pocket and worked them until they were straight. Then I put one earbud in and began my walk home.

 

The door was unlocked. Not a surprised. My dad wouldn’t have gone anywhere but the store and it wasn’t the day for that yet. I could look forward to one or two hours of peace on Sunday, though. If I wasn’t out.

“Hello?” My dad called out. From the living room. Either watching TV or on his laptop.

“Hi.” I said. Walked up the stairs to the left. Another hard left and I was in my room. I shut the door behind me. Dropped my bag. Didn’t open it, because all that was inside was homework and textbooks.

I stood in the middle of my room for a few seconds. It was a small-ish space. Standing with my back facing the door, my bed was on the right, tucked in the corner of the back and side walls. My dresser was at the foot of it. To the left, a desk and a pretty basic bookshelf. Light brown wood, just the planks stuck together. There was a three foot gap between the two sets of furniture. There was a small closet beside my bookshelf.

The curtains were slightly open, from me bumping and tugging them in the morning. Seventeen years and I couldn’t wake up not groggy and stumbling. I gently closed them. Made sure the edges were touching before I let go. Reached between my desk and the back wall, trying not to disturb the curtains again, and flicked a switch lying on the ground. The little strand of small bulbs above my bed came on. The only decorative thing I’d bought with money in my room. They gave off just enough of a glow I could see what I was doing without annoying me.

My not-completely-full sketchpad was sitting on the corner of my desk. I picked it up. Let a pencil and eraser roll off and tried to guide them to the desktop. They hit the wood with two very distinct sounds.

I thumbed through the pages quickly. Saw small sketches of Ellie and Shannon. Nothing more than little pictures in the corners of actual projects. More detailed drawings of things I found cool. A bird that had landed on my windowsill and stayed for an insanely long time. Some attempts of practicing hands at different angles. Different sets of eyes. They looked a bit too cartoon-y to me.

I found the next blank page. Grabbed the discarded pencil and eraser and sat on the foot of my bed. I’d usually take my jeans off. Get comfortable. I just wanted to put a base down before I got back up. I wouldn’t be long.

My foot tapped as I drew. It had been a while and the pencil felt weird in my hand. Sometimes it felt like another part of me. Easy to push along the page. Right now it was struggling against me. But it helped that I knew what I wanted from the start. Lady began to form on the paper in broad, light lines. Then my stomach growled, and I put the book and pencil and eraser down on my bed and swung my feet a couple times. Blew a raspberry. Then stood up.

My room always felt comfortable to me. There was a sense of something weird underneath that, because if my dad knocked I couldn’t really just tell him to go away, so he’d inevitably just come in after I answered the sound. But it wasn’t the rest of the house. It was mine. I didn’t feel like I was aware of every movement I made in here.

So I sighed a bit as I opened the door and made my way down the stairs. Always swung the door closed behind me. Didn’t want to get yelled at for the shit on my floor or the plate and cup I would maybe have on my desk, depending on how late I was up the night before.

I had been right. We had cheese and we had crackers. Saltine crackers, which, not my favourite. But I was hungry and impatient. And didn’t want to spend time having to sit here and watch something cook. If I just left it and went to my room, I may miss the timer. And then there’d be a knock on my door and something about how I shouldn’t just leave things cooking. About how I was too focused on other things. Whatever he’d say.

“How was your day?” My dad asked from the kitchen doorway. He was walking in, going for the fridge. I double checked quickly to make sure the crackers were back and the cheese was in it’s proper place. They were. No words about that.

“Good.” I said, grabbing a flat, shallow bowl and putting the row of crackers and hunk of cheese. Could have been a plate, but it was the first dish I saw on the rack.

“You’re eating when I’m going to put dinner on.” It should have been a question but it wasn’t. More accusatory than anything.

“I’m hungry.” I was making my way to the other door now. Where I had come in.

“I’m gonna end up throwing out this food, because you won’t eat it now and you don’t seem to want to eat leftovers.”

Which was sort of true. I didn’t hate them sometimes. I just forgot they were there. When I was hungry. Which wasn’t that common at the moment.

“Sorry.” I said. Automatically. I hadn’t even really thought before the word came out. I was awkwardly hovering in the doorway now, holding the bowl with the food.

“That’s also a lot of crackers. And cheese. Lunch was a few hours ago. If you ate better, threw some protein into your meals, you’d probably be full for longer.”

“Sorry.” Automatic again. Fuck. I never meant to say it. And now-

“You say sorry or you shrug and look at me half the time now.” He said. It didn’t feel like a complete sentence. There was stuff left unsaid from all the previous interactions. I was consciously thinking not to say sorry halfway through his statement.

“I’ll eat dinner when I get hungry later.” I said. Iwas staring at the dish in my hand as I said it.

“Thank you.” He said. Don’t really know if he believed me. I didn’t. Because I probably wasn’t going to be hungry later. If I was, I’d just nibble on some leftover saltine crackers.

I put the bowl somewhere on my desk. I didn’t really care anymore. I had been planning on sitting at my desk in a proper chair, with the lamp on and the food easily available. I left it across the room as I curled up with my back against my pillows and the wall. Put my sketchbook on my knees and tried to find where I had left off. But it wasn’t coming back to me. I drew a few lines and then erased them and tried in another spot and hated that too. I threw the pencil across the room eventually. Did the same with the eraser. Both hit my desk with two distinct noises.

I almost did the same with the sketchbook. Thought better of it as it was in my hands. The barely-started silhouette of Lady was good. It had form, okay proportions. I didn’t want to ruin it. So I closed the pad and placed it on the floor, under my bed so I wouldn’t step on it by mistake.

Then I kicked my jeans off and fished in my pockets for my phone and earbuds and untangled them from each other and put them in. Opened Spotify. Which Shannon had so gratefully decided to help me out with by putting me on her family’s plan. I pressed play on the last thing I was listening to. Just let whatever that playlist or album was go on.

I opened my texts and went into Shannon’s messages. A new one, from her.

Sorry about me freaking out back there. I don’t want to sound like a bitch and shoot all ideas down that aren’t mine

                It’s okay

I can never read your tone when you say that, so it always sounds like you hate me. Please confirm I didn’t piss you off

                It is actually okay in the literal use of the word

Okay

I’ll send details in the group chat about our meeting tomorrow.

Breakfast cool?

                Yep

Yay

Ellie is fine with breakfast as well

Don’t let me steamroll you guys. I’m really anxious about whatever this is but don’t let me do that

                I won’t.

Don’t really have anyone to talk shit about you to if I let you get away with stuff and hold feelings in, so this will have to do

And I want this